It is a Friday in the “new normal” of the early autumn of 2020. Yet another week has rolled over.
I am waking up late, so I do not have to justify doing nothing in the hours before work.
I have been having very mixed feelings about my living situation lately.
Do not get me wrong, I am glad to have a stable job, a sound health and health insurance, and a reason to wake up in the morning and be somewhat productive.
On the flip side, I have been wondering (far too often) if what I am doing on a daily basis would make any difference whatsoever – for me, or for the people I care about.
How did this week, this month, this year turn out like this?
And how should I feel about everything going on in the world?
Denial
That’s not happening. It cannot be happening. It’s like a bad dream. Or yet, like a bad horror movie, where all good guys die at the beginning, and you’re wondering why you should continue watching.
But you’ve paid your ticket for the cinema, and you sit there, no beverage, no popcorn, no enjoyment, just unbelievingly waiting for the happy end, which is simply not coming.
And then all of a sudden: “The end.” The big bright lights are turned on, and your eyes need time to adjust to the brightness just to find out that the movie’s not over.
You’ve not seen the movie; you are in the movie.
Anger
So what are we supposed to do now, while the world is going down in flames – do our jobs from home, study from home, celebrate our birthdays all alone, while everyone is panicking and buying excessive amounts of toilet paper?
But who the hell cares about their school curriculum or their corporate jobs in the midst of a pandemic? How can you commit to finishing your degree or the strategic business development goals of your company when you cannot even get a hold of your own life?
And how do you mean that this is the “new normal” now?! What if I don’t want the new normal. What if I want the old normal “normal” …!?
Bargaining
But, hey, let’s make the best of it! Let’s be flexible with all health-related rules and regulations; let’s stay productive at school or work while all hell breaks loose.
Let’s purchase apps for workouts at home, let’s join virtual clubs and challenges so we can find someone to relate to and to feel close, let’s organize online meetings with our loved ones in desperate attempts to maintain our relationships. Let’s try everything on the list to fit in the concept of the new normal. But then what?
Depression
Well, then we are just sad. We have tried everything, we’ve checked all the boxes, and yet none of this feels any normal.
It’s never going to be normal not to be able to hug your loved ones.
It’s never going to be normal to go to bed, not knowing what tomorrow will bring, not on a personal level, but on a much bigger scale.
It’s never going to be normal to pretend to be all right while dealing with existential uncertainty.
Acceptance
And it’s okay to feel this way.
We get way too many options to adjust to life as it is and too little credit for merely trying to remain sane.
We’ve received one too many eager suggestions on how to make the best of these “challenging times” and too little empathy, compassion, and encouragement to take life as it goes, day by day.
We have been distracting ourselves with the overwhelming number of platforms, institutions, or individuals trying to normalize the reality we live in, and we have focused too less on the essentials of living – just live without conceptualizing or labeling life itself.
So please don’t try to sell me this as the new normal, because I don’t buy that.
Don’t try to offer me tips and tricks on how to stay busy, effective, and productive, because subconsciously, this makes me feel guilty for not utilizing my time.
Don’t try to make me make arrangements for the future, because this makes me anxious.
Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with or compliance with the normalization of something that’s clearly not normal.
Acceptance for me is coming to terms with the fact that you will have bad days when you try to deny the reality. You will have days when you are angry, sad, and confused. You will have days when you question yourself and the world, we live in. And then you will have some better days when you wake up in this crazy world, and you try to make sense of it try to find your way in it.
It’s all right to have fallouts. And it’s okay to get back on track whenever you’re ready. It’s all right to take life one step at a time. It’s all right to be respectful of each other’s challenges, struggles, and feelings.
And this should have always been normal. But now more than ever we need to normalize that. And we might as well call it “the new normal.”
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